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Altruistic Narcissism
Is that what being a foster carer is all about?
I have been Government registered foster carers for a few years now, after a very intense 9-month process involving medical and police checks, psychological assessments, one-on-one, and joint family interviews and 6 weeks of training on relevant issues (effects of trauma, etc).
We expressed a preference for emergency, short-term and respite care for 0–2s, and were approved for up to 5-year olds. Having kids ourselves and having discussed it with them before starting the whole process, we were clear we didn’t want older children (and in fact, it is recommended that you never have children older than your own).
This suited me anyway because part of my interest in becoming a foster carer was having the care of babies again now that all our kids were in their teens and pretty self-sufficient. Babies! Cuddly, snuggly, powdery and milky. What’s not to love in that ideal picture? Right….
Not only did I forget the reality of sleepless nights, the need for constant attention, the sheer swallowing up of time that babies demand, but throw on top of that the impacts of trauma, of foetal alcohol syndrome, of in-utero drug addiction, of abuse, of neglect and of disabilities and you have an intense, demanding, emotional, tiring and completely overwhelming experience.
