Even though it was nearly 15 years ago for me now, I totally feel your pain and i get it, even from across the globe here in Australia. My 3 kids, then 7, 10 and 13, spending 5 days a fortnight with their Dad. So quiet....so nothing. The peace and quiet I thought i always wanted came down to a clock ticking and an occasional bird chirping. I hated school events too - i felt like i no longer belonged. Was there a slight wariness displayed by the other mums now that i was husband-less. Or when i had my nails done on a Saturday morning and all the other women in the shop were sitting there with their hands outstrecthed and their wedding rings on show, whereas mine were bare.

It does get better. You will find a rythm. Sending you friendship and kind thoughts.