Member-only story
The Constant Sadness
…. of having an alcoholic partner
I have written about my own struggles with alcohol and how in my case, I know that having a partner who is a high functioning, daily, heavy drinker has not only triggered me into drinking more as the years have gone by, but also added to my general stress and anxiety (which has triggered me into drinking more).
Stupidly, I had dealt with the issues that my partner’s drinking has caused me by adopting an “if you can’t beat them, join them” mindset. Because, let’s face it, having to deal with a drunk person every night of the week, for years, is not fun. Especially when they don’t think they are drunk, or that they even have a problem.
Last night, I was really struck with how utterly sad I am about the situation. After about 4.30 every day when my partner cracks that first beer (before moving on to white wine (if I am having one), then red wine and then whiskey), I know that I literally can’t talk to him about anything more meaningful than what we are having for dinner, or what is on TV that night. Nothing. None of the usual stuff that adults have to deal with and might chat about in the evening — an unexpected bill, a query from our accountant, a problem around the house that needs to be attended to, should we get a quote to install CCTV for added security, how the kids are going etc etc.
